POOPness for OCT 2: MIDWEEK LOAD OF CRAP BY ZAP FRAUDKOWSKI AKA THE GHOUL BARBER OF CLAGARY

Hi, Folks -

Received via e-mail:

=====




Subject: MIDWEEK BY ZAP 10-2-19
From: "The Office of Poofness" <2goforth@humanus.ca>
Date: Wed, October 2, 2019 7:00 pm






Zap Says

‌
HI ALL,

I ASKED A MUSLIM FRIEND OF MINE A FEW THINGS JUST TO GET IT RIGHT, AND HE CONFIRMED A FEW THINGS (THIS WILL NOT TAKE LONG).

FIRST OF ALL, THE MUSLIM AGENDA IS TO ESTABLISH THE 6TH CALIPHATE IN JERUSALEM AND THEY ARE WILLING TO SACRIFICE MILLIONS OF FIGHTERS MARCHING ON JERUSALEM TO DO THIS. THAT’S ONE OF THOSE “GOOD LUCK” THINGS AS THE ISRAELIS WILL NOT TAKE TOO KINDLY TO BEING INVADED LIKE THAT.

SECONDLY, THIS IS A PARTIAL LIST OF THINGS THE WORLD WILL NO LONGER ENJOY:

NO ALCOHOL
NO DRUGS
NO CIGARETTES, CIGARS OR PIPES
NO OLYMPICS
NO MUSIC AND CONCERTS
NO SKIMPY BIKINIS
NO GIRLIE MAGAZINE
NO MANLY MAGAZINES
NO COLORFUL CLOTHES
NO DESIGNER FASHIONS
NO PERFUMES OR COLOGNES
NO MAKEUP
NO DELICIOUS FOOD MADE WITH PORK
NO BLASPHEMOUS SCIENCE
NO GOING TO THE MOON UNLESS BY SPACE GOAT
NO FREE THINKING
NO CRITICISM OF ANYTHING ISLAM
NO OTHER RELIGIONS
NO DEMOCRATS, REPUBLICANS, OR ANY OTHER POLITICAL SYSTEM
NO STEALING OR LYING UNLESS FROM AND TO THE INFIDEL
NO NO NO AND NO (FILL IN THE BLANK OF ANYTHING FUN)




SO NOW THAT WE KNOW FOR SURE WHAT WE CAN LOOK FORWARD TO, I IMAGINE THAT CONVERSION TO ISLAM WILL BE ON A RAPID INCREASE FROM THE 3 PER YEAR RIGHT NOW.

THERE IS SO MUCH MORE I WANTED TO WRITE ON THIS SUBJECT, ESPECIALLY REGARDING THE SCIENTIFIC THINKING OF ISLAM AND HOW JINN ARE RECOGNIZED ALONG WITH MEN (YES, GENIES), AND HOW BIRDS STAY ALOFT IN THE AIR BECAUSE ALLAH THE ALL TIME GREAT KEEPS THEM ALOFT, AND YOU HAVE TO HAVE PERMISSION TO CROSS THE HEAVENS (NASA MUST HAVE AN ALLAH SPACE PERMISSION DIVISION), AND SO MANY OTHER USEFUL SCIENCE BASED ON WHIMSICAL OPINION.

BUT I WON’T. I AM DONE WITH THIS. BUT GOOD NEWS EVERYBODY! THERE IS A NEW RELIGION IN TOWN!

THE FAMOUS FLYING PURPLE PIGS HAVE DISCOVERED AN ANCIENT MANUSCRIPT THAT SAYS THAT PORKY, THE ORIGINAL PIG, WAS ROLLING AROUND IN SOME HOLY MUD AT THE BASE OF THIS REALLY BIG HOLY HILL, AND HAD A HOLY VISION WHERE MOBY, A HOLY PIG ALL IN WHITE, CAME DOWN FROM HEAVEN AND SPOKE UNTO HIM IN PIG LATIN.

MOBY THE HOLY PIG TOLD HIM THAT EVERYBODY ON THIS PLANET HAD TO REALIZE THAT ANIMALS HAVE FEELINGS AND ARE HERE TO HELP HUMANS. THIS IS THEIR HOLY PURPOSE. IF THIS PURPOSE IS NOT FULFILLED, THEN THE ANIMALS WILL ALL GO TO THIS REALLY NASTY PLACE WHERE THEY WILL GET PROCESSED INTO NASTY STUFF UNFIT FOR ANYBODY AND LOSE THEIR PURPOSE.

AND MOBY THE HOLY PIG SAID UNTO PORKY THE NEW PIG PROPHET, MAKE HUMANS AWARE OF THE ONE TRUE HOLY PURPOSE OF ANIMALS AND BRING THIS MESSAGE UNTO THE HUMAN MASSES. YOU CAN PUT UP A LIKENESS OF ME AND USE IT TO IDENTIFY YOUR PURPOSE.



MISS PHIPPS HEARD THE CALLING AND HELPED PORKY ESTABLISH A CHAIN OF HOLY PIG CHURCHES CALLED PORKY’S, AND THE FAMOUS FLYING PURPLE PIGS WANT ALL HUMANS TO COME AND CELEBRATE AT PORKY’S THE FINAL PURPOSE OF ALL ANIMALS IN A HOLY EXPERIENCE.

HOLY PULLED PORK WILL BE SERVED ALL THROUGH THE DAY FOR THE TRUE BELIEVERS OF PORKY THE PROPHET. NO CHICKENS ALLOWED. THEY ARE DISGUSTING AND HAVE FEATHERS THAT IMITATE THE FAMOUS FLYING PURPLE PIGS. THE ADMINISTRATION HAS DEEMED THAT CHICKENS ARE TO BE SACRIFICED BY THEIR SUBSIDIARY RELIGION.

VOODOO, THE ANCIENT SPIRITUAL RELIGION WILL BE RESPONSIBLE FOR CHICKENS. WE HAVE LOTS OF CHICKENS RIGHT? SO THERE WILL BE NO SHORTAGE OF CHICKENS FOR THE RITUAL VOODOO SACRIFICES. IF YOU WANT TO BRING GOOD LUCK TO YOUR BUSINESS AND MAKE MORE MONEY, JUST SPEND A FEW BUCKS ON A CHICKEN. SPECIAL RATES AVAILABLE THROUGH MISS PHIPPS. PLEASE CONTACT HER FOR MORE INFORMATION ON BULK CHICKENS.

SO NO MORE TERRORISM, NO MORE SLAVERY, BEHEADINGS, MISHEADINGS, FLOGGINGS, OGLINGS, HONOUR KILLINGS, MOTHER RAPINGS, FATHER RAPINGS, PEDOPHILIA, DISCRIMINATION, OBFUSCATION, DELIBERATION, MASTICATION, OBLITERATION, CONDENSATION, EXCOMMUNICATION, CESSATION, ELATION, AND ALL MANNER OF NASTY VILE THINGS (SEE ALICE’S RESTAURANT) AND MUSLIMS AND CHRISTIANS AND JEWS AND BUDDHISTS AND EVERYBODY CAN BENEFIT JUST BY CUTTING OFF THE HEAD OF A CHICKEN AND DRINKING ITS BLOOD, DOING A SPECIAL CHANT AND A DANCE. MISS PHIPPS WILL BE OFFERING LESSONS AT EXCELLENT DISCOUNTED RATES FOR NATIVE PROFESSIONAL CHICKEN DANCE INSTRUCTORS.



THE ONLY PROBLEM IS VOODOO PRIESTS. THERE ARE SO FEW. SO WE WILL HAVE TO SET UP VOODOO SCHOOLS AND TRAIN LOTS OF VOODOO PRIESTS AND ASSISTANTS TO GO TO EVERY CORNER OF THE WORLD WITH A WHOLE BUNCH OF CHICKENS AND BEGIN HELPING PEOPLE ATTAIN THEIR GOALS THROUGH SPELLS, LOTIONS, POTIONS, AND NOTIONS AND ALL MANNER OF MAGICAL AND MYSTICAL STUFF FOUND ONLY IN SPECIALTY VOODOO STORES COMING TO A NEIGHBORHOOD NEAR YOU COURTESY OF THE FAMOUS FLYING PURPLE PIG ADMINISTRATION.

A CONTEST WILL BE HELD TO ESTABLISH A NEW DESIGN FOR PORKY’S. AN ENTRY FEE OF $100 IS REQUIRED. NEW CHICKENS WILL BE ACCEPTED IN TRADE FOR ITEMS AND SERVICES OF COURSE.

MISS PHIPPS WILL ALSO BE PROVIDING SPECIAL INSTRUCTION MANUALS ON CHICKEN BREEDING AND RULES OF VOODOO SHORTLY FOR ONLY $99.95 PLUS SHIPPING AND HANDLING. NO VAT BECAUSE THIS IS A RELIGION OF COURSE AND COMPLETELY TAX DEDUCTIBLE. TAX RECEIPTS AVAILABLE THROUGH BOB THE BANKER.

THE THINGS ALLOWED BY BOTH PORKY AND VOODOO IS LONG AND EXCELLENT: HERE IS A PARTIAL LIST:

YES TO GRUNTING
YES TO ROLLING IN MUD
YES TO PRETTY WELL EVERYTHING THAT DOES NOT HARM INCLUDING SACRIFICING NASTY CHICKENS



WE HOPE YOU EMBRACE THESE WONDERFUL RELIGIONS AND ELECT PORKY AS PRESIDENT. THE VOODOO PRIESTS WILL BE HOLDING A SPECIAL CEREMONY TO HELP HIM START HIS CAMPAIGN SO BRING YOUR CHICKENS.

PORKY PROMISES A CHICKEN IN EVERY POT.

IN LESS ESOTERIC NEWS, IT LOOKS LIKE THE RELEASES ARE HERE FOR EVERYTHING EVERYBODY HAS BEEN WAITING FOR.

GOD THE ALL KNOWING AND COMPASSIONATELY WONDERFUL JOYFULLY BLESS. AGAIN.

LOVE AND LIGHT
IN OUR SERVICE
ZAP


“GOD IS; I AM; WE ARE”
“BE GOOD, BE LEGAL, TELL TRUTH”
OCTOBER 2, 2019
“MAKE EARTH GREAT AGAIN”
“MEGA”
COPYRIGHT ZAP 2013-2019
‌

The principals of this newsletter bare the bulk of cost of keeping this forum functional. Your donations have helped in securing the dedication and time required to deliver these messages.


The support from our readers is the only means that have kept this forum alive. We are thankful and blessed by those of you who have shared in your generosity. Your ongoing support is essential to our continuation. Please help with what you can when you can to insure its success. All contributions from this request will be applied strictly to the production of this newsletter. Thank you for your assistance....Your support will be graciously received thru Paypal.com: acct: goneforthfornow@gmail.com: goods and services.

Love and Kisses,

Team "Poofness"




This post is for information and education purposes only. All representations, presentations, products and opinions are strictly that of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinion or endorsement of the “Poofness News Letter” and its principals. All readers should perform their own independent due diligence before acting on any information provided.

=====

--hobie


Thanks to: rumormillnews.com