The Baptism.....For Ponee

It is Sunday afternoon and the congregation has gathered down at the river for the monthly Baptism. 
 
One by one the pastor calls them into the river for the ceremony.
 
The line is quite long and a guy who is inebriated stumbles upon the ceremony and without really knowing 
what is going on but wanting to fit in, falls in line behind the others.
 
When it finally becomes his time, the pastor calls him into the river and dunks him under the water.  When 
he pulls him up, the pastor asked, "did you find Jesus?"  The guy says "no."
 
The pastor dunks him again and holds him under the water just a little longer than the first time. He pulls 
him up and again asked, "did you find Jesus?"  Again the guy replies "no."
 
The pastor dunks him the third time and holds the guy under the water until he is struggling to come 
up for air and when he emerges, he is spitting and coughing and more emphatically the pastor asked, 
"did you find Jesus?"   Still struggling to catch his breath, the guy says, "are you sure this is where he fell in?"

YAY! LOL.  That gave me a chuckle !  Thank you so much for sharing it MidnightRider!  We need  a bit of levity lately.

There was a child in the second grade, that always gave the cafeteria monitor a hard time about eating what was put in front of him- After about a month, the lunchroom monitor decided to call the boy's mother, and proceeded to tell her that her son was very rude, and used offensive language when he was told to eat his lunch like he was supposed to- She said, 'I have a hard time believing my son uses language like that in the school lunch room'- The monitor said, ' I would like for you to be here at lunch time tomorrow,and you'll see exactly what I'm talking about'- So, the next day, the Mother came to the lunch room and stood out of sight,and then, loudly, the monitor said, 'here is a nice big cookie to go with your lunch', and handed the boy the cookie, which was immediately slapped out of her hand, and then the boy screamed out loud, ' I DON'T WANT A FRIGGIN COOKIE!! Right then, the Mother walked over, and the monitor said, 'did you hear what he just said to me? The mother replied, 'well, frig him, don't give him one!