Paraprosdokians

 
[size=32]First time I heard about paraprosdokians, I liked them. Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous. (Winston Churchill loved them).[/size]
 
[size=32]1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it[/size]
 
[size=32]2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you ... but it's still on my list.[/size]
 
[size=32]3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.[/size]
 
[size=32]4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.[/size]
 
[size=32]5. We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public.[/size]
 
[size=32]6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.[/size]
 
[size=32]7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.[/size]
 
[size=32]8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.[/size]
 
[size=32]9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.[/size]
 
[size=32]10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency, notify..." I answered "a doctor."[/size]
 
[size=32]11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.[/size]
 
[size=32]12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.[/size]
 
[size=32]13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.[/size]
 
[size=32]14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.[/size]
 
[size=32]15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.[/size]
 
[size=32]16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.[/size]
 
[size=32]17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.[/size]
 
[size=32]Sadly this is true!!! Spread the Laughter, Share the Cheer, Let's be Happy, while we're here!Para[/size]