LETTER MY WIFE GOT FROM TARGET STORE NEAR OUR HOUSE !!!

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:

Dear Mrs. Campbell,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Campbell, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out. I thought we need this today !!! Just Da Truth !!!!!!!!!!!

Ha!!!! I want to shop with you once this RV takes place.

And that folks is why a woman should never take the hubby shopping. :evil:

This all seems believable, but what is your source. This all seems too possible but we have been mislead several times. I want to think you are telling the truth but without knowing your contact or seeing the letter I will stand back and wait. You spin a credible story but so have others. We are in this together and many of us live near one of those cash out centers BUT I don't know anybody who has ever received a letter like that. (tongue firmly planted in cheek) (just trying to craft a little humor myself) (and now for the gruvelling: 1) I hope you were not offended 2) this was my personal opinion 3) this was not a slam at Okie or any mod 4) this was sincre and not intended to be negative 5) this was not done in open chat 6) I used no profanity 7) I would prefer a rebuke rather than banishment- - -please don't ban me
{I have too much time on my hands}

Very, very, very funny! Now I know how to keep from getting bored in super stores!

Very funny....all of you. Very well done!!!!

pennoch2000 wrote:THIS IS WHY I DO MOST OF MY SHOPPING ON-LINE :queen:

...just not as fun!

Hey -- This is hysterical!

I needed a good laugh today!

Thanks!

I was going to copy the Target letter and send it over to a friend of mine, but decided he would consider it a challenge to see if he could come up with even more outrageous antics. So to prevent marital strife in his household, I decided this particular intel should remain a secret!

:flower:

Hillarious!!!! Will make sure to keep an eye on my husband next time he says he is going t o wait for me at one of the benches at the front of the store.

me4RV wrote:Great story this was really funny. Lets target Wal-Mart and its Chinese Slave industry next. This would be so funny.

These are the ones that sent the letter.

payitforward you are just as funny as the post. My husband called me from work to read this!!! We have a great group.

PRICELESS :cheers: :cheers: :cheers:

This IS a good place. Laughing at yourself is thereaputic. (I mis-spelled it for those who want to bash)

Prov. 17:22 A merry heart doeth good like a medicine

payitforward wrote:....thereaputic. (I mis-spelled it for those who want to bash)

Know whey yer jist dum.....The letters we get from Target are called ads.

I tried to check my spelling once in a book but not only was it hard to read, it doesn't help you spell words anyway.

justpassintime: You have a particularly quirky view of things ... I got a great laugh from your last post. Needed that especially today. Thanks so much!

GOOD STUFF!

.

NOW THAT is funny!!!LMELAO!! :aefad: :jrtyjr: